In Memoriam: Honda Civic EX Special Edition Coupe
Faithful companion and questionable wingman, turned menace to society
With all the events that my family went through in 2024, I didn’t get a chance to properly eulogize my Honda Civic. Yes, on May 30th, 2024, I officially—legally—relinquished ownership of my faithful, reliable, very slow car. And, just to be clear for the record, I also relinquished responsibility for any crimes or accidents it may or may not have been involved in afterward (take note of that for later).
I’ll always remember this car because, 1) I remember all the cars I’ve driven for any extended period of time and 2) it’s the car that took me from bachelor to husband/father.
Not that it was giving the best assists with helping me find my marriage vocation. The ladies were never going to be impressed with this particular vehicle. That’s despite the impressive luxurious accouterments of the EX Special Edition package from 2005, including but not limited to:
Handsome, custom spoked alloy wheels
Power mirrors AND power sunroof
6 disc CD changer - hours of playback time
Very suspicious, what-are-you-hiding level window tint
Fast and Furious enormous rear spoiler (wing)
Yes, despite being the most optioned out version of a Honda Civic money could buy in 2005, by 2015 it gave the outward appearance that the owner was perhaps a down-on-his-luck drug dealer. Given that it also had no AC, increasingly struggled to accelerate with each additional passenger, and was prone to retain the odor of Chick Fil A for days following exposure, I never felt like this car was a good wing man, and so I would either Uber, or park far, far, away to meet dates.
But image issues aside, it was a good, affordable, reliable car, and it got the job done. I drove it into the ground. By the time I sold it, it had 155,000 miles on it, the windshield was a maze of cracks, and all four tires were nearly in F1 dry tarmac tread conditions (bald). One tire was leaking so badly that I’d become familiar with all the gas stations along my commute that had working free air compressors, and filled it up a least once a week.
I didn’t take real good care of it. Aside from oil changes, I hadn’t gotten any maintenance done on it for years. There’s something very freeing about driving a car in such condition. Never have to wash it. You can haul anything that fits inside, without stressing about damaging the upholstery. You can park it anywhere and not be concerned about it getting door dings, keyed, etc. If it gets in a minor fender bender, you just leave the damage, like a trophy. At four way stops, you always get to go first, because everyone will yield to the guy with apparently nothing to lose.
That was my mindset driving it, and it seems to have carried on to the next owner. You see, at the end of my wonderful 9 year run with this car, I sold it to Carmax, and the next guy who got it immediately began to do crimes in it. He’d drive solo in carpool lanes without a pass, wrecked it in some sketch neighborhood in San Diego, and then never paid the tow company who took it away from the scene.
I know all this because I sold the car in the famously well-administered State of California, and the DMV there is such a mess that it’s hard for organizations such as carpool lane ticketing companies, or collections agencies, to know when a car has changed ownership. I got various letters demanding payments for the ensuing misadventures of my Civic in months to follow. Fortunately, these were all handled by Carmax, who apparently stands up specific personnel for straightening out this exact California DMV error, because it happens with that much regularity.
Least entertaining-to-drive car I have ever spent time with, but still plenty of good times and memories. Normally, I’d say I hope to see it again someday, but given its post-Carmax crime spree, if our paths were to cross, it would likely be a violent collision, so I’m rooting against that.